He had such potential... until he uttered the words, 'you know I'm not interested in anything but friendship, right?'. Ugh. I'd tell you to gag me already, but... yeah. It's a little too late. It reminds me of one of my own personal rules - long-distance relationships are better than close, for one reason: because the fallout is just crappy when you have to see that person on a regular basis.
The fantastic thing? He never even knew I liked him. I don't know whether I should laugh at the silliness of it or roll my eyes at the utter cluelessness men seem to easily possess. (In the end, it's a bit of both.) Every time I see an email from him, I withdraw into myself all over again.
Of course I told him it was all right. Why would I make it awkward between us by breaking the news? Why, I thought when you wanted to do all these things and spend time alone with me, and when you winked at me all those times - gosh, I thought you actually liked me! How silly of me.
No, instead, I pretended it was fine. After all, it Was over text message. Classy. You're how old, and you're having a relationship discussion (not really a discussion, more like a monologue) with me over Text message? Wow. If you ever want to know why you're still single, just let me know. I Think I might have a good idea.
The thoughts that echoed in my head? 'No, how silly! It's totally fine that you Completely missed everything attractive about me, since I never want to get married or fall in love or any of that stupid stuff!' (Said no one Ever.) Honestly. I'll be really happy if I never see the ignoramus again.
And it's inner outbursts like these that make me realize a part of me is still hurting, still wanting there to be someone in my life. As much as I have come to genuinely love the free, sort of nomadic life I live, and the life I want in the future, there is still longing. Why am I so surprised by this...?
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