Fun Stuff - The ABC Survey

The ABC Survey

A is for age: 24

B is for breakfast today: The usual - a bowl of cereal (today it was Honey Nut Chex), and a buttered bagel (Cinnamon Raisin flavored).

C is for currently craving: Nothing, I just ate!

D is for dinner tonight: Just had it.  I had a mad-awesome, huge burrito; and it was delicious.

E is for favorite type of exercise: Weight-lifting.  With a little aerobics mixed in...  But specifically, I love ab-work exercises.

F is for an irrational fear: That my shadow is bigger than me; that I can't overcome the darkness (fear, anxiety, doubt) within.

G is for gross food: Meat.  Sorry, I just don't dig on brutally-slaughtered, rotting animal flesh.

H is for hometown: Jeromesville, OH.  (Just look up 'boondocks, ohio' - and you'll be in the right place.)

I is for something important: Love.

J is for current favorite jam: Food or song?  I love my mom's Raspberry jam.  For the song, probably No. 1 Crush by Garbage; that'll change as soon as I put in my iPod again, though.  = P

K is for kids: Nope, not for me.

L is for current location: At my desk in my room, procrastinating from homework.

M is for the most recent way you spent money: For gas in my sweet little baby car.

N is for something you need: A spiritual retreat of some kind.  I need to flip the switch on my spiritual life right now...

O is for occupation: Student, more than full-time.

P is for pet peeve: People who drive too slow (in front of me!), selfish and uncompromising people, the people who ask dumb questions in lecture classes, and having to do things I see no point in doing.

Q is for a quote:  "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson 

R is for random fact about you: I have professionally recorded four fiddle CDs!

S is for favorite healthy snack: Fruit!  I love strawberries, blueberries and grapefruit the best!!

T is for favorite treat: Ice cream.  Cookies and cream is my favorite, but I love moose tracks, too!

U is for something that makes you unique: I play classical violin, baroque violin and fiddle - all very well.  = D

V is for favorite vegetable: Onion.  Probably the least popular veggie in the world, but I love it!

W is for today’s workout: Another DVD from my collection - The Firm: Aerobic Body Shaping.  Weight training with aerobic segments mixed in.  = )

X is for X-rays you’ve had: Teeth is all, I think...  When I had my braces.

Y is for yesterday’s highlight: Skyping with a friend I haven't talked to in a while!

Z is for your time zone: Eastern.  Though I think my mom would say I live in my own time zone, since I seem to be late for just about everything.  = P

Pain & Response

A posting by one of my guy friends:  "Why is it not spring yet? I've got cabin fever with nothing to resort to. In all seriousness, there must be something to waste your time doing that is entertaining and constructive to some end. Nothing seems appealing. Exercise at the gym: check. Guitar practice: check. Television: check. Household chores: check. Play pool at the bar: check. Go bowling: check. It would be cool if there was someone around to do something with. Moral: get a job that takes up all of your time because all you'll do with that free time otherwise is sit around and do absolutely nothing with no one. Here's to you Ms. Mystery... See you never."

I was so touched by this admission of loneliness.  Men so rarely admit that they're lonely, too.  While women always seem to be so aware of their feelings in this area, men seem to avoid the topic in conversation or try to avoid feeling it (at least, in my experience with men), or both.  This really touched me.  I can't even say how much.  Maybe because I feel like this so often, that it feels strange to hear it from someone else, let alone a guy.

If there's anything worse than sitting around being lonely, it's working and being lonely.  Or rather, working when you know you're just trying to avoid being lonely - as though you have nothing in the world to do but work; and unfortunately, that's the way it feels when you're single and without hope of that changing.  It's one thing to take some alone time when you need it.  It's a whole different ball game, however, to have to be alone because you have no friends or loved ones to spend time with.  It's a denial of that deep desire for companionship which exists in all of us - and I think the chronic denial of this desire is one of the leading causes for depression (and even suicide), as well as a contributing factor to other emotional problems.

People always say you can't always get what you want - and that's true.  At some point in our lives, we have to reconcile with that fact.  Life isn't fair.  But I don't think we should tell ourselves to stop hurting; because that often leads to telling ourselves to stop Wanting - which is the worst thing a person can ever do, to themselves or others.  We all need love, and we all need a certain amount of companionship - be it familial, friendly, or romantic.  And if we are denied this long enough, it does, indeed, make the heart sick.

I hate when people say you shouldn't need someone, to heal you or 'fix' you.  While I agree that needing someone to tell you who you are and why you should be that person is definitely wrong, I cannot agree that another person can't be extremely fundamental in one's personal growth and healing.  Our wounds are given to us by humans; it makes perfect sense, then, that God would bring other people into our lives who can help alleviate and - if they are able to love you in a selfless and Godly way - heal our hurt.  God is the only one who can give our lives meaning and purpose, and give us our true identities.  In fact, He is the only one who can love us unconditionally, and eternally.  But He does bring other people into our lives to bring about (sometimes very deep) healing and growth in us.

But I digress.  How do we reconcile with a God who gives us needs, and does not satisfy us, even when it seems we can go no further feeling so heartsick?  This - and many other things - is what makes faith and trust so difficult.  I would be the first to admit that I'm terrible at faith.  I'm much better at criticizing, doubting and questioning God than trusting His actions - and especially His motives.  What makes us strong is not Just praying - though that is absolutely necessary for a relationship with God.  We need each other.  It astounds me to think that every one of us is hurting.  Every single one of us is in pain, to one degree or another.  How often do any of us stop to think about that?  When we're driving on the highway, or we're walking down the street - surrounded by people - do we ever look into the eyes of strangers and dare to see the pain hidden there?  It is this pain that makes both war and compassion equally possible.

Something in me always wishes I could better minister to those who feel this lonely - mostly because I have spent a lot of my life feeling that lonely and wishing others would care enough to minister to me.  I certainly know what it's like to be the beaten, wounded man down in the ditch while others on the road pass by.  I can't tell you how many times I asked myself, where is my good Samaritan?  So suffice it to say that it touches my heart very deeply, to hear others admit such loneliness.  We cannot 'fix' another person - no matter how good our intentions.  But we Can help, and we Can heal, through Him who strengthens us.  May we go and do good, then, with the great strength we have been given.