New Year's Resolutions

It's my belief that it's never too late for New Year's resolutions.  I think after all is said and done, a sunset, hours of rest, and a sunrise make all the difference in starting anew.  That said, here are some new rules I'm vowing to live by:

1. I am no one's backup plan.  I don't know what it is, but it must be that I haven't met the right man yet.  Guys seem to only come back to me after another girl has broken their heart.  (Some trend, right?)  I will never, ever give a guy a chance if he doesn't go for me first.  Because every woman is worth being the leading lady - not the afterthought.

2. I am not always available whenever it's convenient for him to meet up.  As in, I have other things in my life but you, boy.  I've always been pretty good at this, but I'm redrawing the line.  The less I settle now, the happier I'll be in the future.  (And in the future, I'll be pretty busy, too, so he'd better get used to it.)

3. Take me as I am, or hit the road.  I've been pretty good with this one, too, but it can't be said enough.  I don't try and pretend my faults don't exist, and I don't try and 'tone down' my personality so I'm not too much for a man to handle.  If he's intimidated by me, that's his problem - not mine!

4. A dream is only as impossible as I think it is.  I am capable of so much more than I know - of this I am sure. I'm challenging myself to be more creative, and to try things that I was too afraid to do before.  I'm not going to miss an amazing life because I was 'too afraid'.  That's the worst reason of all to fail - because you never tried at all.

5. It's okay to be weak sometimes.  Strangely enough, I've found that when I least expect it, people will reach out to defend me or help me when something bad happens in my life.  So many years went by in my childhood when I wished someone would protect me.  I tried to always be strong, and it's hard to allow myself to be so vulnerable even now.  I want to come to terms with my humanity; my imperfect being...  To come to terms with feeling like I'm not at my best.  After all, "only the mediocre are always at their best". (Jean Giraudoux)

6. It's okay to change my mind.  And it's okay to change my heart, and my desires.  It's okay to not be the same person I was five or ten years ago.  (In fact, I'd really rather not be the person I was five or ten years ago in some regards!)  The things I was passionate about then are not all the same now (though many remain the same).  And that's okay!  I want to come to terms with my own changing.  How silly it was, to think I 'had it all figured out' - to any degree...  Nothing good can come of closed-mindedness.

7. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice...  Well, you know the rest.  If a guy breaks my heart once, he was the fool.  But if I allow him to break my heart twice, then it was I who played the fool.  Just not going to do that anymore.  If a guy wants to be in my life, he's going to have to Earn his way back in!

8. No man, no person, no opinion, no certain day, week, month or year, no broken dream, unfulfilled hope or disappointment, no one action or mistake (or even great achievement) is the verdict on me.  Not one of those things decides, once and for all, who I am or how much I am worth.  Life does not begin and/or end with any one of these.  There is so much more to life than taking everything personally.  It's such a selfish way to live, and I'm bigger than that.