Disclaimer

If you're a sensitive person, or get offended easily, don't read this.  When I'm honest, sometimes I'm brutally honest...


Sometimes I feel like such an outsider.  I can't even go to a party without having someone give me a funny look when I say I'm a vegetarian.  I mean, what is it with people who ask me how I've Survived all my life??  Clearly I have, and with a little flesh to spare, so since I'm obviously not starving to death, why do they ask such a stupid question??  Just because I prefer not to eat dead, rotting flesh?  Honestly.  These people must not give any thought as to what horrid suffering that animal had to go through, just so they can have their 'protein' - as though that's the Real reason they support the cruel slaughter of innocent animals...


Then I say that Bloomington, Indiana seems like a big city - certainly the most populated place I've ever lived.  Oh, then they jump all over me.  God forbid someone musically talented might've grown up in the backwoods of nowhere...  They look at me like I'm some sheltered, naive little girl - like I'm stupid or something.  Hello!?  It's not like I haven't been to big cities.  I Know what a big city IS.  They don't even let me finish the statement - that it's the biggest city I've ever lived in, and thus is an adjustment.  Wish I could cram that look right back into their skulls where it came from.  Just having grown up in the country, and being amidst all these musical city people makes me feel enough like a fish out of water, without those kinds of looks and comments.  (Oh, and my parents aren't paying for my new Audi or my entire college education, either.)


On Facebook, I look at all the status updates and once again feel out of place.  I don't have kids (hell, I don't even Want kids), and No, I Don't care about how much you love your kids or if they talked, walked or even puked on you today.  I'm not in a relationship.  God, don't even get me started on this one.  The last thing I want to hear, as an ambivalently single person is how much someone *luuuuuvs* their special someone.  Ick.  It's enough to make me gag.  Look, it's not that I'm not happy for my friends.  I just wish they wouldn't spread their joy around so much.  Maybe I'm just bitter.  Or maybe I just need something to be pissed off about, and for now this suits me.


And no, I Don't like sports.  God forbid I be a girl and not like sports.  And no, I really don't care about who beat who, or who roots for who.  Don't care.  Don't care.  Don't care.


Luckily for me, I never cared about being popular.  So if people don't talk to me again after reading this, I'll just say it's their loss.  My mom always told me to be the person I really am, unique to the last - I just never knew how much it might hurt and anger me to be so different.  I'm a fireball; I'll be the first to admit it.  I've got a loud mouth and I don't like to be told what to do.  People can't usually handle me, because I say what I mean and I don't care what anyone thinks.  I've never been afraid to be myself.  Like Coldplay says, 'no one ever said it would be this hard'.  No one ever told me how much - or how long - it would hurt, being so different...  Being, unabashedly, me.