Someone Needs To Say It...

You're thinking it... and I'm saying it.

1. Someone needs to tell guys that - while kissing - if a little tongue is great, a lot of tongue is just Gross.  Every time it happens, I want to yell, 'Get your tonsil monster out of my throat before you actually cause me to throw up!'.  (But I don't.  Maybe one of these times, I will.)

2. Every time someone asks a lot of questions in a lecture class, I just want to throw something at them.

3. If I edited my Facebook home page to just the stuff I actually cared about, there'd be nothing left.

4. I think 'expressive intonation' is another way to say it's out of tune.  Seriously.  Don't bother me with this stuff.

5. Sometimes, I really do want to do it my way...  Even if it's the stupidest idea on the planet, and I Know that it is.

6. I want to run into my ex-boyfriend's next recital while he's playing and shout, 'YOU SUCK!' and run back out.  Just for the hell of it.

7. It's really not fair that Matt Bomer is gay.  I mean, he's got to be the most perfect looking man ever to have existed; and I don't have a shot in hell.  (Not like I'd have a shot in hell, even if he were Straight.  But, I digress...)

8. Hipster glasses are ugly.  Actually, I don't understand the whole hipster dress/whatever that fashion statement is supposed to mean...

9. When babies cry during church, I want their parents to pick them up and take them outside.  Just because I'm Catholic doesn't mean I should have to ignore/endure screaming children while I'm trying to worship.

10. For that matter, I don't like kids.  Not really.  I can smile at them, but deep inside, I'm thinking how grateful I am that I'm never going to have any.  That screaming kid in the grocery store?  Not mine.  The baby that never sleeps?  Not mine.  And No, I'm not going to change my mind.  Even the thought of marrying a straight Matt Bomer doesn't make me change my mind.

11. Sometimes, during a serious conversation, I want to say 'poop' randomly.  Just for the hell of it.

12. When people ask me what I'm going to do after I graduate, I sometimes want to tell them that I'm going to be a hobo and ride trains cross-country with my sack of clothes over my back and my can of beans in hand.  You know, just for the hell of it.

13. If I could marry any man in history, it would be Cary Grant.  Hands down.  He has absolutely no competition.

14. Alexander Hamilton - you know, the guy on the 10 dollar bill - is hot.  And I don't care How long he's been dead.

15. If you got it, flaunt it; and I got it, so I flaunt it.  And if you don't got it... well, please just put some clothes on, already...

16. I hate it when people crack their knuckles, necks, backs and every other possibly-crack-able bones in their body.  It makes me twitch.

17. When someone makes a vegetarian joke, or tells me they could never give up their meat, I want to laugh and say 'enjoy that rotting flesh that an innocent animal was strung up, throat slit, bled out, and killed to give you'.

18. I'm not voting in the next election.  The Repulicans are dumb, and the Democrats are just playing that up to make themselves look better.

19. Sports are dumb.

20. And the Olympics were kind of dumb, too.

21. Michael J. Fox is Still cute.  And I want a man just like him.  Oh, and it's totally cool if he has a crazy scientist friend who builds a time machine, too.

22. Lightsabers may or may not cause me to get slightly excited.

23. Sometimes I wish really good-looking cellists would just play naked.

24. Alan Rickman has a really sexy voice.

25. I wish my toilet was self-cleaning...

26. Yes, guys, I'm sorry to burst your bubble.  Girls poop.  Sad, but true, I'm afraid.

27. I don't mind if I die young; people will always remember me as young and hot, instead of old and ugly.

28. My ex-boyfriends put the 'ug' in ugly.

Life provides so much inspiration...